Beer Operating Systems

If Operating Systems Were Developed By Beer Companies

DOS BEER: You would have to use our own bottle opener, and the instructions for bottle opening would have to be followed exactly as written. The earlier version was only available in an 8-pack, but in now days they are available in a 16-pack (although divided in two 8-compartments in order to preserve stability during transport.) The production of this beer will soon be terminated, but private reserves are still so plentiful that this beer will be available for long time to come.

MAC BEER: In earlier days this beer was only available in a 16-pack, now it may also be obtained in a 32-pack. This, sometimes known Light Beer, opens itself as soon as you remove it from the refrigerator. The manufacturer refuses to provide the consumer with content information or nutritional values.. If you ask for this information, you are informed that you do not have to know these details. Perhaps an empty can; "recycle is clearly stamped on it.

WINDOWS 3.x BEER: This is the best known and most popular beer on the market. It looks a bit like MAC beer, but is available only in a 16-pack configuration, and you can not drink it if you haven't gargled with DOS beer before. Actually, one can drink DOS and Windows Beer simultaneously, but only if you consume the DOS portion in smaller quantities and very slowly. Sometimes the Windows bottle may explode when you attempt to open it.

OS/2 BEER: This beer is available in a 32-pack and you can drink several of them simultaneously, or even at the same time with DOS and Windows beer in any combination. This beer will not explode, even if you shake the bottle immediately prior to opening. The producer: IBM (International Beer Manufacturer) informs that at least 10 million packs have been sold thus far. The consumers say: "Not always, but always often!"

WINDOWS 95 BEER: The newest Beer on the market. Many tasters claim that this beer is the best available. In reality it looks like a mixture of MAC beer and OS/2 beer, but tastes like Windows 3.x beer. It is sold in 32-packs which actually only contain 16 cans. The average beer drinker will probably remain with his favorite Windows 3.x beer until such time as his drinking buddies convince him otherwise. Although the producer: MS (Multi-Soak) claims that this beer is a break through, the small print on the label reflects MAC, OS/2 and DOS beer ingredients.

WINDOWS NT BEER: It is exclusively available only in a 32-pack, but it requires a very large storage refrigerator because these packages are so large. It resembles the Windows 3.x beer, but the manufacturer prefers to compare it to the Windows 95 beer. This beer advertised as the industry "strong beer" and is only recommended for experienced drinkers.

UNIX BEER: Unix beer is available in various packages. This type is available from a number of manufacturers in packages ranging from eight to sixty-four. However, the taste of this brew is the same , regardless who produces it. Unix beer drinkers are very loyal to this type of brew. Sometimes, one might need a can opener, since the tabs have a tendency to break off, and then you might have to be a pretty experienced "can opener" or will require the assistance of a long time Unix beer drinker.

AmigaDOS BEER: The original producer of this beer went belly up, although the recipe was taken over by another company who exports this beer to third world countries now. This beer was never on the "Hit Parade", but some claim that it was the fault of poor marketing. At the time of its introduction, the labeling was colorful and attractive, however, since that time no changes have been made and the content seems to be somewhat flat as well. Similarly to Unix beer drinkers, the AmigaDOS drinkers are a very closed and loyal group. This beer is available in 16-packs and was recently released in a 32-pack. Some experts consider this beer to be best suited for consumption while watching TV.

VMS BEER: All you have to do, is to rip open the can and drink it. Sometimes, however, the cans may explode, or the beer may taste like dish water. Best way to drink this brew, is when it is extremely cold. When asked for ingredients and nutritional values, the manufacturer refers you to an obscure FDA notice of confidentiality. Some experts report that this brew falls below the established health standards, but the subject is being investigated by the Arkansas legislature.