Strange things about computers in movies
- Word processors never display a cursor.
- You never have to use the space-bar when
typing long sentences.
- All monitors display inch-high letters.
- High-tech computers, such as those used by
NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution,
will have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
- Those that don't will have incredibly
powerful text-based command shells that can correctly
understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
- Corollary: You can gain access to any
information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF
THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
- Likewise, you can infect a computer with a
destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD
VIRUS." (See "Fortress")
- All computers are connected. You can
access the information on the villain's desktop computer,
even if it's turned off.
- Powerful computers beep whenever you press
a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also
slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go
faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also
emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.
- All computer panels have thousands of
volts and flash pots just underneath the surface.
Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of
smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces
you backward.
- People typing away on a computer will turn
it off without saving the data.
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive
computer in the world before intermission and guess the
secret password in two tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE
function. (See "Demolition Man" and countless
others)
- Complex calculations and loading of huge
amounts of data will be accomplished in under three
seconds. Movie modems transmit data at a speed of two
gigabytes per second.
- When the power plant/missile site/whatever
overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will
the entire building.
- If you display a file on the screen and
someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the
screen. (e.g., "Clear and Present Danger")
- If a disk has got encrypted files, you are
automatically asked for a password when you try to access
it.
- No matter what kind of computer disk it
is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All
application software is usable by all computer platforms.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more
buttons it has ("Aliens"). However, everyone
must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't
labeled.
- Most computers, no matter how small, have
reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time,
photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
- Laptops, for some strange reason, always
seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities
and the performance of a CRAY Y-MP.
- Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the
image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her
face. (See "Alien," "2001")
[Editor's Note: Computers also never experience
crashes -- especially during key, high-intensity scenes.]
